Every horse program or manual is going to tell you that you need to be the boss. Not here. We want people to explore what it looks like to not be the boss – to give up control, with their horse and in a lot of other areas of their lives.
We have been seeing some fascinating offers from the horse when they can make decisions and have ideas. Others say we need to be the boss to have control so we do not get hurt. Not what I am seeing. When we give up control, we really start to listen and we do not jump into things. We wait until both partners fully agree on something.
I have been watching this and observing that it is quite often nervous riders that find this approach appealing, which seemed a bit odd. And it was working……this morning I came closer to understanding why. If the horse has been made to believe we are the boss and then they feel us getting nervous, they immediately read that anxiety and react. If we are below them on the pecking order and we feel anxious, it does not affect them. They look at us the same as they look at a low submissive in the herd. Mostly ignoring us and carrying on with what they are doing. This in turn allows our nerves to subside and we can carry on in our happy relationship.
We become their ‘little two-legged one’ that they sort of have to look out for. If on a confident day the little two legged decides they have an idea, their horse just might encourage them along the way….. “You go little one.”
Maybe no one needs to be boss – maybe we can just go play together.